Having an opinion is human. Thought we assume that opinions are regulated by common sense, that is generally not the case. Our entire world is about opinions. We can have a opinion about any and every thing around us, for example; Donald Trump and the US elections in general, opinion about BREXIT and its impact on the world economy and when we have nothing more, we move to creating opinions about people around us. Good or bad, a significant amount of human brain processing power is spent in forming opinions.
Even thought opinions are not necessarily bad, they do have a negative impact if an opinion is formed with a intention of imposing your thoughts on the other person or to demean someone. Additionally, forcing opinion and conveying it as a decision due to your position in the organization or the type of personality you are, takes the impact of your opinion to the next level, where it makes a conversations one sided and forces the other person to eject from the conversation.
Having said that, opinions are not going away. Human mind will continue to analyze situations and people and form opinions based on our experience, knowledge and personal objectives. This does become an issue with teams trying to foster collaboration. How often do you see an Architect telling a team on how a product should be designed killing the creativity of the team or how often do we see a leader force a team to build something that the team know will not add value to business.
Here are some guiding principles that will allow you to not only form a opinion with the right intent but be able to communicate it and leave a positive impression:
- An opinion is a opinion – A dictionary definition of opinion is “a belief or judgment that rests on grounds insufficient to produce complete certainty”. An opinion when communicated as a decision or expert judgement is totally different and hence it becomes critically important for an opinion to be conveyed that way. A good way to share an opinion is to start by saying “this is just how I think and I am happy to be proven wrong”. Being passionate about your views is admirable, but never expect anyone to abandon his or her own thoughts in favor of yours.
- It is ok to NOT know everything – The key reason why humans are forced into having an opinion is because they do not want to come across as ignorant or unaware about what is being discussed especially when it is current hot topic in politics, sports, technology etc… However; it is ok to not know everything. So in a situation like this, retain your opinion till the time you can ask to be explained more about the topic or if your opinion is requested.
- Start by sharing the intent – If you feel strongly about something and have a strong opinion, start by sharing the intent. Most opinions result in a negative impact on relationships be at work or family and its outcome can be brutal if relationships and partnerships are formed and end purely based on opinions without either party initiating a conversation to validate opinions. If you cannot come up with an intent to form an opinion or are not ready to validate, opinions can be destructive. Your opinion might hurt some feelings or provoke some criticism, but sharing ideas is how conversations start, communities are formed, and change happens.
- Who/What is your opinion about – Opinions can be about people, products and opinions can be about opinions. Be cautious if you opinion is about someone who you do not get along with or someone who does not give your opinion adequate weight. Such opinions tend to involve your emotional side and can go a long way and influence the whole objective of having an opinion.
- Argue internally – Treat your urge to form an opinion as an internal argument with yourself, a mental debate, so to speak. Consider your knowledge on the subject, your intention behind having the opinion and the value your opinion will bring before your speak up. Let go if you are unable to convince yourself.
- Can you back your opinion with facts – Being able to back your opinion with facts is important. Base your opinion on an article your read or research your did or something you saw on the social media or anything else so that your opinions are heard.
- Assess if your opinion is really needed – Do you remember the last time you walked into a conversation, listened briefly and in no time shared your opinion about something and were told that you got it all wrong. It has happened with me. Understand that you were not part of the conversation in the first place because your opinion does not carry enough weight and that is fine.
Opinions can and will evolve; sometimes at the risk of reshaping your reputation and credibility. And as much as you are entitled to them, don’t hold on to them too tightly. Opinions have a way of being infused with our dignity – it makes us think that if we change our opinion, them we’re flimsy or weak, when in fact it is a very natural process, kind of like growing up.
Just make sure that your opinion forces constructive and creative thinking, and don’t be afraid to share it.
Nirmaljeet's Blog 